Adjusting to a new life has been difficult for me to say nonetheless. I moved several hours away from my home to a new state with new people, a new environment, no family, but with several goals. This time in college I have set aside for self discovery. I talked about this a lot in my last post and since then, it has been such a rollercoaster trying to find myself, but I’ve realized that you can’t force it.
Being in this position; constantly away from home, trying to keep up with my schoolwork, and all around trying to find joy in the people here, has come with a lot of anxiety. I started seeing a counselor here at school and together, we have worked on several techniques that have helped to ease my anxiety and help me get in touch with my surroundings more. Several of my readers are friends my age who have recently moved into college and are most likely experiencing the same things, so I thought I’d share. Even to my audience members who are older or younger, take this advice with you when you are feeling anxious.
- Make time for yourself. Being in college, you want to go out of your dorm and join clubs and make new friends, and when you do, you want to have sleepovers and study together and branch out and try new things together. All of this is really good and making such good friends here has helped so much with my homesick-oriented anxiety. However, you can’t forget to take time for yourself. Go on a walk or go get coffee or literally just sit in your bed and watch Netflix. It’s important to have this time not only to be able to relax and breathe, but to evaluate. What are my short-term goals for today? How can I achieve them? How do these relate to my long-term goals today? What’s my schedule today and what do I need to prioritize in these next few hours? I think this one goes especially to all of my college friends out there. “Me time” is essential, and is very soothing for anxiety.
- Know that your mind is your friend. This one can be complicated for a lot of people my age. We spend a lot of time on autopilot, considering our busy schedules. When I’m not on autopilot, I’m stressing about homework, my degree, my career path, my future, and all of these pile up until I’m stressing about literally every decision I’ve made up to this point. This is what I call “self-destruct mode.” Living in a state of constant worry can be so damaging to yourself and to others. Internalizing your thoughts is okay, but when they get too much, stop and think. Be aware of your thoughts and where they are leading you. Don’t let them affect your progress towards your goals and certainly don’t let them shut you down. The first few weeks of college, I didn’t even want to leave my dorm because I was so stressed and worried and scared of wrong decisions. But you are where you are, and you can’t change it right now, so open your mind. Practice mindfulness and enjoying where you are and being in touch with your thoughts.
- Be grateful. Take a look at where you started and where you are now. Think back to when you were a sophomore or freshman and where you thought you’d be. When I was fourteen, I was set on going to Juilliard and studying musical theatre so I could be on Broadway (… that’s all I’m going to say on that lol). Look how plans have changed. Could they be better? Sure. Could they be worse? Definitely. Something I used to do that I would like to get back in to is journaling gratitude. Keeping a daily log of the things you are grateful for that day. Eventually, you stop and take a look around you and you realize that there is a lot to appreciate, no matter where you are in your life. When I get down on myself for not having a major yet, or for not doing well on an assignment, or for being antisocial on a certain day, I always take for granted how well I actually have it. Yes, those things happen, but I am at the honors college of Florida. I’m a five minute drive from the beach, I have made amazing friends, my family is consistently supportive of everything I do, and I have a chance to live on my own and test my abilities. Never take your life for granted.
To avoid making this post too long, I’ll leave it at that. Opening your mind and taking time to appreciate where you are, how far you’ve truly come, your abilities and your growth, the endless possibilities in front of you, can make you feel so much better. Anxiety haunts all of us at certain times, and it’s okay to not be okay sometimes. But things will be okay, things are okay.
The world is yours.
— mal
(p.s. this is dedicated to my friends here; Luis, Klerissa, London, Briannah, Gus, Adam, Nick, Noah, everyone who has helped ease my anxiety over these past few months without even realizing it. And as always, to Nelia. I love you my hunny; things will be okay, things are okay. Also to my counselor, Keith lol.)
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