Class of 2019,
Today is our graduation day. We finally did it! I vividly remember my first day of fifth grade, the staff at my middle school had hung up posters and signs saying “Class of 2019,” and it always seemed so far away. But we made it through trials and tribulations, the best times of our lives and the worst, never-ending stress, meeting our best friends, teachers who have grown to become a second parent to us, and years of countless memories.
Today, Dane said “I feel like I’ve been in high school for eighteen years.” In the newspaper, Claudia’s quote is on the front page: “I feel like I’m going to be here again next year.” To a certain extent, it almost feels that way. We’ve walked the same halls and known the same people and encountered the same classrooms for so long, some of us for our whole lives.
At first, I really struggled with the idea of moving on. How do you go from this daily routine to suddenly packing up and leaving everything you know? I thought I was the only one. Everyone was so excited, couldn’t wait to leave, they were searching for their future plans and I felt like the only one who didn’t want to let go. However, as the year progressed it brought me a sense of comfort to discover that I wasn’t the only one who was terrified. I found the college I want to go to, but that step never really stopped me from feeling that same dread. I have my group of friends that I know and love. How do I turn around and meet new people? How will they ever compare to the ones I have now? How am I supposed to form bonds with new professors I’ve never known? How will I even find my way around a new city when all I’ve ever know is this one?
A little over a month ago, I got out of my bed in the middle of the night, woke my mom up, laid down beside her and cried for a long time. She stroked my hair as I sobbed over and over, “I don’t want to go to college.”
I don’t know what it was, but last night (at approximately 3:50 a.m., if you must know), I had an epiphany. I wish I knew what overcame me to make me feel the way I did, but it really doesn’t matter. Whatever happened, I finally began to open my eyes and look towards my future. And it was bright. I didn’t feel scared. I felt embraced by God and I knew I was on the right path. I was looking back on all the memories I made, and for once I didn’t feel sad. I just felt grateful. I’ve known these people and this city all my life. I wasn’t necessarily jumping to let go of it all, but for the first time, I felt open to the idea.
My circle of friends has been so great. I love them more than I can put into words. But I’m so ready to make a new circle. We will keep in touch, but I cannot let the idea of letting go hold me back anymore. This city is so beautiful and kind and I love it so dearly. But I want to explore more. The teachers and this school has been safe and welcoming to me for so long. But it is just here to prepare me for what’s next.
Seniors, it’s time to let go. But don’t dread it. Don’t be sad and don’t be scared. I’ve let the idea of letting go prevent me from being happy this past year; prevent me from truly looking at what’s in front of me.
I’m ready to fall in love with a new city. I’m ready to study abroad. I’m ready to meet my best friends, meet my soulmate. I’m ready to start my career, find my passions, find myself. After college, I’m still hoping to move to New York. You guys know me well enough by now to know that’s all I’ve really wanted. And I absolutely cannot wait for that.
My future is so bright. Graduates, our future is so bright. I could not think of a better name for this post than “Adventure Awaits,” because it truly, truly does. This is the end of an era. But don’t be sad to let go; be excited for what’s to come.
We did it, guys. And it has been such a pleasure to share this experience with you all. High school will live in my heart forever. You all will do such amazing things. New College of Florida, I’m ready for you.
Once a bulldog, always a bulldog.
— mal
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